10 Surprising *Quirks* About Traveling While Mixed That No One Tells You: Travel for the Racially Ambiguous

I am a participant in affiliate programs, so basically I earn a small commission if you use any of the affiliate links on this post - at no extra cost to you! Dope right?

A Racially Ambiguous Guide to Travel with long thick curls, green eyes, and a medium tan complexion smiling up at the sun. Image text: 10 things no one tells you about traveling while mixed

“Wait…you’re not white?!!? LOL omg!” was a comment made by one of my Instagram followers when I first started documenting my travels. I distinctly remember reading the comment over, three times, before scrolling back up to the picture I posted. It was a picture of my face, a rarity, as I usually posted pictures of the back of my head looking out at a beautiful landscape. In my mind, it was pretty obvious I wasn’t white. Even with blonde curly hair, I thought people could see I was a Black traveler – but of course that would make traveling while mixed too simple, huh?

It’s frankly…exhausting how often non-white people have to think about race.

“Why do y’all make everything about race?!?”

We don’t. That’s how today’s global society was built. I can obviously only speak from a Western or American standpoint, but it would be pretty darn dandy to never have to think about race.

When I get ignored by a store employee, it would be fantastic to know off the bat that it’s nothing personal and they’re having a bad day. Or if the police were in my neighborhood, that they were truly looking out for the community, not looking for reasons to rough up someone’s day.

I’d love to just…go for a run.

So, perhaps a bit naively, I assumed travel – or at least the travel COMMUNITY – would offer some refuge. I assumed travelers were more exposed to different shades of people. That their experiences around other people and cultures would allow them to pick up on the nuances of race and ethnicity.

OR AT LEAST BE ABLE TO TELL I WASN’T WHITE.

But clearly, I had too much faith.

Wait, so…what’s the problem?

gif of terry crews from white chicks saying "are you telling me that you are not white??!?"

I’m not saying there’s not a problem with being white haha. Or even someone assuming I was white. I think most people, at the very least, have some sort of notion that travel experiences are different depending on what you look like – kinda like life.

There are certain things that Black travelers have to consider that others don’t. Asian travelers may have a different set of experiences. Latino or Hispanic travelers will move through the world differently, as well as Indigenous travelers.

That’s not too hard to wrap your head around, even if you don’t quite know what exactly those different things are.

But traveling while mixed, and especially sharing those travels on social media, comes with it’s own little *interesting* set of quirks.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to sit up here and tell you about how I’m tragically TORN BETWEEN TWO WORLDS AND PEOPLE WANT ME TO PICK A SIDE *distressed emoji*

For one, I’m not torn between two worlds. Second, while I’ve had my fair share of identity crises growing up, and it’s certain a common experience in the general “mixed community,” that isn’t what this “Traveling While Mixed” post is about. It, in its essence, is about travel. And, as the name suggests, things you will come across traveling as a mixed or racially ambiguous person. Because…some people just don’t get it.

gif of a woman saying "why are you white?"

Traveling while mixed means you will walk the line between being a complete enigma with a giant spotlight on you, orrrr…vanishing into invisibility all together. If you are biracial, multiracial, mixed, or racially ambiguous – you’re going to relate HARD to this post.

If you’re not, still, keep reading. Because I’m going to tell you what exactly people go through traveling while mixed and how you can not add to the discomfort and icky-ness.

You will come out of this read a better and more understanding individual and traveler.

*namaste*

Let’s Begin.

First off – What IS Race??

gif of drag race superstar shangela looking confused

I figured I should probably start off with some foundation for this post. If you already have a good handle on the differences between ethnicity, nationality, and race, then by all means -skip ahead.

I’m going to kind of speed through this so we can get through this post before the second coming of Christ, but if you want a more in-depth discussion, check out my travel talk on racially ambiguous travel. There’s a whole glossary of terminology terms (BIPOC vs BAME vs ADOS, etc) with a discussion on why terminology changes, and how it relates to traveling while mixed. It’s cool, you should def go read it.

In the meantime though, here’s the gist:

RACE =/= NATIONALITY =/= ETHNICITY

It’s still a thing that trips people up. I’ll go through a mega brief description of each, but just know that these views are from someone who is American. Views on distinct race and/or ethnicity vary around the world.

Nationality: citizenship.

ex: South African, Mexican, Colombian, Japanese, German, Egyptian, etc

Ethnicity: your common ancestral, racial, tribal, linguistic, religious, or cultural heritage. It can overlap with someone’s race/nationality.

ex: Latino, Desi, Celtic, Apache, Creole, Inuit, Roma/Romani, Han, Yoruba, etc

Race: a category of humankind that shares certain distinctive physical traits.

ex: white, Black, Polynesian, Asian, Indigenous/Aboriginal

That said, these definitions are…incredibly lacking, and people don’t always fall into these limited government identifiers. Especially when you can only pick one…which is a problem.

Racially Ambiguous? Mixed? What’s the Difference?

racially ambiguous girl with her hand on her chin under a neon lightbulb sign

Above we talked about how race is physical, right? Well, racially ambiguous just means you have physical characteristics that are not all usually categorized under the same “racial” categories.

Someone being racially ambiguous is extremely arbitrary.

Just because the majority of Black people where YOU live look a certain way, does not mean ALL Black people look like that, especially when there are distinct ethnic groups that are varying shades of “Black/Blak” all over the world. Everyone within any ethnic group can be any number of skin tones with different physical traits.

Someone who is mixed (biracial/multiracial) have parents from different racial groups. They may OR MAY NOT look racially ambiguous.

Genetics is random like that.

Well, What the Heck Are YOU Then?

gif of rashida jones saying "I mean, you know, I'm ethnic"

Yah, uh huh, this is probably the only reason you clicked on this post? The driving factor behind why you made it all the way through my babbling, right?

You want to know my ethnic and/or racial background.

Well.

Go on, here’s a picture.

girl with light skin and thick, long, curly hair

Race is based on appearance, right? So what do I look like to you? Go ahead, you can guess. You’re going to anyway. Honestly, I won’t be offended, it’s natural. Guess. I’ll wait.

Did you make your guess?

Well, what about in this picture?

girl with thinner hair with waves

This is from when I was a bit younger. I know, it may be surprising to know that blonde is not my natural hair color. I was shocked as well. But does this picture change your guess?

In the end, it doesn’t matter what you guess.

Long story short….I’m Black.

TADAAAAAAAAAA

Some people may consider me racially ambiguous, though I’ve never thought that. I grew up in a Black household. So, I wasn’t exactly expecting all of these little *quirks* that came along with traveling while mixed, or at least “LOOKING mixed.”

Traveling While Mixed: The Intrigue

Now that we’ve got that all out of the way, we can finally get to the point of this post, hahah: Traveling While Mixed. You might think that it wouldn’t be any different than say…traveling while [insert race of one of your biological parents]. And for some, that MAY be true. But for many mixed-race travelers, that is not always the case.

Sometimes, traveling while mixed, is intriguing.

Invisibility

Like when you unexpectedly just…blend in. Of course, this depends on what you are mixed with and what you physically look like, but, if I may speak openly here – it’s pretty dope when it happens.

young bruno mars saying "i've never been in this position before"

I currently live in Portland, Oregon USA – one of the whitest major cities in America. Even if I wasn’t “racially ambiguous,” as some would say, I am never invisible here.

So, when I first visited Cuba, you can imagine my surprise when…no one even gave me a second glance. Like, literally – no one.

If I was sitting in a park in Santa Clara, I was just another face in the crowd. Well, until they heard my accent. In fact, one night after I was leaving a restaurant in Trinidad, a woman called out to me as I passed her door, but when I turned to face her, her eyes lit up in surprise.

“Oh sorry!” she exclaimed in Spanish and laughed at herself, realizing I wasn’t her friend. Then, she gave a head tilt as she pieced together my clothing and touristy knick-knacks. “I thought you were someone else.” She finished in English.

It is the reason why the great Kingdom of Hawai’i became one of my favorite places in the world. Because…honestly, no one cared. I just blended into the crowd. They didn’t care what I looked like (or didn’t look like), and they CERTAINLY didn’t question where I had come from. It was the first place I visited that made me feel like I was…at home. Physically accepted.

It felt…really great.

Inadvertently Getting the “Local” Treatment

On the other hand, traveling while mixed may not make you completely invisible, but sometimes, it does make you visible in a good way. For example, you may get perks that someone who “looks” like a local may get.

racially ambiguous girl posing in front of the Disneyland sign

I don’t look like the majority of the population in Mexico, but I’m somee kind of “brown” to them, and that’s apparently close enough.

I’ve never had anyone ever tried to scam me in Mexico (which happens basically everywhere you travel, not just Mexico). I’ve never been upcharged or had a “gringo” tax added to my bill.

When I’m traveling while mixed in brown countries, I’m generally trusted by the community. When I get lost, which is often, people stop to help me.

People want to talk to me, invite me into their homes because I’m “close enough” to something familiar. In a way, even with my awkwardness, their ASSUMPTION that I am some kind of charming socialite…kind of turns me into one. Especially when they give me stuff because of it.

Oh, I remind them of their granddaughter? COOL FREE SMOOTHIE!

Hey, if they think I’m such and such and want to give me perks because of it, who am I to deny their generosity? Heck yeah I’ll transform for them.

gif of a woman with an afro saying "a biracial butterfly"

When I was in the UAE, the tour guides gave me extra attention – one assuming I was Arab (or at least mixed with Arab). People just start speaking to me in Arabic. Or Spanish. The same thing happened in Jordan. And Costa Rica. And I already told you about my fabulous time in Hawai’i.

I’m not always treated like just another annoying tourist, even though I am (and extra annoying). Sometimes, I’m treated like I’m part of the “insider’s circle.” It’s…quite nice. I’m not gonna lie.

Instantly Interesting

Maybe because I live in America, but racially blended families aren’t wildly unexpected to me. But okay, I can see how it’s less common in other places that have a lil less racial diversity.

racially ambiguous girl with long wavy hair at the Great Wall of China

While being a suddenly “interesting” subject can be…weird (more on that later), traveling while mixed can lead to some pretty interesting discussions. Liiiike for example, when I visited Greenland for the first time, I had a lot of misconceptions about the country. Mostly the stereotypes about Greenland that painted the country as “void.”

But the second I stepped off the plane, a Greenlandic man ran over to me, introducing himself. My partner and I were the only non-white passengers on the plane that just landed, which he was beyond excited about, and proceeded to give us the unfiltered (cough decolonized cough) history of Greenland.

Every once in a while, he may see an Asian tourist, or an unambiguous Black traveler. But he hadn’t seen someone who looked like me before, and he just…wanted me to know I was seen and appreciated, even if the tour guide paid me no attention.

girl with curly blonde hair taking a selfie with a man with a beard and headphones

He wanted to share his culture with people who looked different than the normal tourists. He didn’t actually care WHAT my race was, but whoever I was, wherever I came from, he wanted me to take a piece of his knowledge back with me. He wanted people to know and see HIM as well.

In China, while I was doing a tour at the Chuancais Museum, Chengdu’s culinary cooking school, the guide was so intrigued by my happenstance. More than MY specific family, and just the idea around growing up in a racially blended household and navigating interracial dating in general.

Traveling while mixed can also help you be welcomed into other traveler’s group. You might feel on the outs when people can’t immediately associate you with a particular ethnic or racial group, but then you bust out those language skills or cultural references, and it’s like you’ve known each other for years or something.

However, it…doesn’t always go smoothly, especially in China. But more on that later.

Traveling While Mixed: The Prejudice

So, even with all of those intriguing positives about traveling while mixed….it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. I mean, we’re talking about race after all. RACISM EXISTS. Yes, even for racially ambiguous people. Traveling while mixed…unfortunately encompasses that as well.

Ol’ Fashioned Racism

girl with short curly hair sits on a low bench in front of a closed bodega with her baseball cap on backwards, her chin resting on her fist, and a tired look on her face

There’s, of course, the expected.

I’ve been called racial slurs. Businesses have denied me service or attention. Complete strangers have told me to go back to [insert random brown country here – usually the entire continent of Africa]. All when traveling while mixed, though this happens domestically as well.

Even mixed people who LIVE in their home country are subject to this. I have a friend that is mixed-Black and lives in Russia. She’s been through some thangggs, even though she IS RUSSIAN (and Slavic!). Tourists start treating HER like she’s the guest.

Any non-white person can tell you, it really sucks. And it’s crummy that it happens while traveling. Not knowing if YOU did something.

Was it just me? Am I being too sensitive? Did that really just happen?

Getting spit on (figuratively AND literally) has a way of ruining your day, no matter how beautiful the location.

naomi osaka pouting and looking away uncomfortably and dejected

Misplaced Racism

Because you are traveling while mixed, people…literally might not know exactly HOW to be racist toward you.

It sounds wild, right? Let me explain with an example.

I studied abroad in France, and while it may happen globally, especially depending on what you look like, I found Europe to hold a special kind of blatant racism against Arab and/or Muslim people. At first, when people would give me funny looks or mutter things in languages I couldn’t understand, I assumed it was because I was Black. I was familiar with people being racist toward me because I was Black. Infuriating, but familiar.

Later, when another friend of mine (also traveling while mixed) told me the story about how she was pushed down in an alley by a drunk man twice her size and called her slurs during an Islamophobic rant (she was neither Muslim nor Arab)…I realized that maybe they thought the same of me.

Being ‘suspiciously brown’ in countries that can’t quite place you – or their racism – is weird. And horrific.

I’m not discouraging travel for Black people or people of color. I’m not discouraging traveling while mixed. At all. But if you haven’t really traveled before, I’m just giving you a heads up. It might happen to you. Plus, aside from, yanno, standard racism, traveling while mixed can sometimes include…another unsavory addition.

Fetishism

“Oh wow, you look so EXOTIC.”

woman with deep tanned skin an wavy hair walks out of the ocean in a bikini

EYESWEATERGOD – the word exotic makes my skin crawl. It’s also another major reason why I am distrustful of strangers anxiously trying to guess my ethic background. While there are a ton of fetishisms, I’m not shaming any of them…

Okay, I lied. I’m shaming one. Racial fetishisms creep me out.

But what about preferences??

WHY do you “prefer” certain people? Ethnically, I understand wanting to be with someone you share a culture with. There is certainly a level of comfortable ease that allows you to connect on a deeper level…and also avoid culture clashes and misunderstandings.

But prefering someone RACIALLY??? Really?? Whyyyy do you feel that way? Is it because you see them as a sex object? Does their skin excite you? Is it because you are biased against features that are not associated with whiteness? Are you attaching problematic stereotypes to them (submissive, feisty, BIG, small, “loose”…”tight” *barf*)?

And when you’re mixed, it’s like people are trying to figure out WHAT KIND of sexual stereotypes they can project onto you.

IT’S WEIRD.

man saying to a racially ambiguous person "was your dad a G.I. or....?"

Dating Abroad?

Plus, when you ARE looking to date…it get’s weirder.

You’ve got the racial fetishism, yeah, but you’re traveling while mixed and trying to date someone, add on whatever weird sexual stereotype they might have about your country as well.

For American women, that usually makes people assume we are just DYING to have sex, and in their minds, specifically with THEM. I have features that make me a different but exciting sex object, buuut I don’t look COMPLETELY like the people they are incredibly racist or biased against.

I’m racially ambiguous enough to excite, to conquer.

I’m just so thankful I’ve never tried dating abroad. Whew, that is a can of worms for traveling while mixed that I NEVER want to open.

racially ambiguous girl with a long braid over her shoulder peeks out from behind a telephone pole

Whenever I travel in Mexico, the catcalls transform from being “hey beautifullllll got a boyfriend?” (still barf), to “oo look a BRAZILLIAN! you want to ride this [censored] ??” Or in other places: “An exotic Caribbean chick. I bet you love [censored] [censored] [censored].”

WHAAATTTT?!??!?!!

STOP FETISHISING ME. While you’re at it, stop complimenting us on how we’re not like other [insert race here].

Black, but you don’t have 4C hair. Asian, but you have light eyes. Indigenous, but you don’t LOOK Indigenous. What is that supposed to mean?? STOP. It’s offensive and your racist biases are showing.

Traveling While Mixed: The Uncomfortable

gif of two men with powdered wigs saying "i suppose she is, if you find the most rare and exotic flower so."

That brings me to…the uncomfortable part of traveling while mixed. Not quite a compliment…but usually misplaced well-meaning (???) situations that don’t land with racially ambiguous people. Which makes traveling while mixed just kinda…yikes-y. At least for me.

What ARE You?

We kind of went over this in the beginning, but y’all. I’m begging. Can you PLEASE stop asking mixed people what they are every five seconds? If you just treat us like normal people, it will probably come up anyway when it’s relevant. And guess what, if it doesn’t come up, IT’S NOT RELEVANT.

But beyond just asking what we are, it’s the method of questioning.

“What are you?”

“No, what’s your nationality??”

“No, no, like what are you? ETHNICALLY?”

“Really? But what are your parents?”

“Noooo, where are your parents from? ORIGINALLY?”

gif of a woman saying "that's all you ever have to say."

But the most eye-roll part about the whole exchange is when you get through all of their interview questions and they’re still like, “are you sure? I don’t believe you. You don’t look like that.”

What?

How do YOU know what I’m supposed to look like???? I seriously got held up at immigration because they didn’t believe I looked “American” enough. But unambiguous Americans of all other races went right on through.

Try having that same cut-throat interrogation about what you look like with four different government officials with GUNS in a private room. For HOURS.

Yeah. That was…uncomfortable. Never going back to that country. But I digress.

girl sitting on a giant block structure with long curly hair

Hashtag traveling while mixed problems.

A little TOO Interesting

Or, when you’re traveling while mixed, you might come off a little TOO interesting. People will literally stop you in the street and line up to take pictures with you. It’s a thing. Especially in Asia.

Product Does Not Match the Description

Another…uncomfortable conversation that happens when you are traveling while mixed is when you don’t meet someone’s expectations. A complete stranger at that. It’s kind of like the positive of being “instantly interesting,” but gone wrong.

First, people are excited to learn you are part – such and such. But then, when they learn you don’t speak the language. Or have never had a certain dish. Or have never been to that country yourself….you are just as quickly a disappointment in their eyes.

AND if you don’t LOOK how they envision you “should” look? Extra upturned nose for that. Your identity gets completely dismissed. And for what?? Some random culture-check application that you didn’t apply for??

gif of aubrey plaza saying "I didn't ask for this"

Not only does this happen when you’re traveling while mixed, but also if you’re simply traveling as a racially ambiguous person. They get all excited to see a Black girl with green or hazel eyes and start assuming you’re mixed with something exxxotic (barf) or you’re from an exxxotic place.

Then when you explain you’re Black mixed with more Black from Kansas City, they want to cop an attitude. WITH YOU.

????

Check yourselvesssss.

Privileges

Ahhh…privileges. And I don’t mean the “I gotchu fam” perks that someone might recognize you with for being the same ethnic/racial identity as them.

I mean privileges in a way that awards your “like-ness to [insert race]” and place you above someone else. The systemic and societal privileges.

Allow me to introduce racism’s good friend – colorism. Usually operating in a cloak of anti-Blackness, it’s disgustingly shocking to witness and experience. And when you’re traveling while mixed, it’ll pop up when you least expect it.

racially ambiguous girl with long wavy hair sitting in a hot spring in the forest

When I lived in France, I liked to hang out with someone from my cohort (an Asian man), after class. We were both studying abroad as STEM students, and were both the youngest exchange students, so we instantly clicked. Mind you, his French was a lot better than mine, and with my wacky clothing, it was painfully obvious I was not French. He was well-groomed and dressed sleek. Clothing-wise, I would have thought he blended in a lot more than I had.

But still, whenever a waiter would take our order, or someone would come up to us on the street for directions – they would talk to ME and ONLY ME. Once, we even heard them thank me profusely for the help, and in the same breath mutter a xenophobic slur.

chrissy tiegan grimacing

When I travel with my family, my mom gets ignored, but as soon as I walk over and join her, the staff is instantly and overly excited to serve us.

Well, me.

The club bouncer doesn’t want to let my unambiguous Black friend in, buuuut since I’M with her, they’ll make an exception.

It’s…not a good place to be, traveling while mixed. Because I am Black. But because I may LOOK less Black to some people, they treat me better. There’s a lot that goes into travel privileges (as my friend Sojourner from Sojournies explains), but colorism is definitely one of them.

Whatever racist encounters I experience abroad, as terrible and unacceptable as they are, they are fewer BECAUSE I am traveling while mixed.

I recognize that. I will ALWAYS do everything in my power to check people on their racism, classism, and ableism, regardless of who they are or where they come from, and also spread both awareness and change within the travel industry.

Magically Colorblind

Weirdly enough, or maybe not, sometimes when you’re traveling while mixed, you’ll get hit with the ol’ colorblind perspective.

This happens domestically for me as well, and it usually stems from people not seeing you as “that race.”

girl smiling and sitting with her legs crossed on a rainbow colored

“It don’t matter if you’re white, Black, brown, purple, or blue…”

Given the benefit-of-the-doubt, a lot of well-meaning people intend these comments towards me as some kind of nod at my ability to blend in. I’m a literal melting pot to them, and that obviously means racism is dead if two people from different races were able to set aside their differences and fall in love and create me.

I’ve even heard, “You know, in another fifty years, everyone is going to look JUST LIKE YOU. So beautiful.”

gif of a white woman looking admiringly at a racially ambiguous woman and saying "and your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of the American melting pot."

??????

What compels strangers to say these things to me??

First – just because someone is dating a person of another race does not erase their racial biases. AT ALL. Trust me, I know from my own family.

On the other end of the colorblind scale, when you’re traveling while mixed, people will just discount your race all together and say BLATANTLY RACIST things in front of you.

gif of a mixed race man pulling back in concerned shock

And then when you call them out on it, they’ll frantically attempt to backtrack or downplay with a “oh, I didn’t mean it like that” or “well, obviously not YOU” or “I didn’t know you were [insert race].”

First of all, you don’t have to be a particular race or ethnicity to stand up for or support a community. It’s…basic human decency? Second, they shouldn’t be saying those things anyway, regardless if someone calls them out on it???

Where Do I Fit in Social Media?

racially ambiguous traveler looking out from behind palm leaves

I knowwwwwwwww I said I wasn’t going to talk about “N0t BeiNg EnOuGhh!!!” but alas.

It’s a factor.

Mixed people really can’t help it huh? It’s a curse. *cry emoji*

Social media…is weird. I could literally write a whole blog post about why I personally left a lot of Black travel groups, but just to give you a taste – sometimes when you are racially ambiguous, your opinions and/or experiences are disregarded. And when you’re traveling while mixed, it’s almost as though people completely disregard all of the uncomfortable and violent racist encounters that you ALSO navigate and only see “the positives” of traveling while mixed.

girl with wavy hair sits on the steps in front of a large Portuguese style door

“Oh, you wouldn’t REALLY know what it’s like.”

“You’re not BLACK, you’re MIXED.”

“Things are different for you!”

This even happens if you’re NOT racially ambiguous, but someone learns you’re mixed.

“What could YOU possibly know about Native culture? You’re white.”

OR people don’t recognize your different experiences and perspectives as a mixed person because you don’t LOOK mixed enough or racially ambiguous.

gif of a Black woman telling a mixed woman "People think of you as Black. You're not Rashida Jones biracial, you're Tracee Ellis Ross biracial."

And I realize that I do have a different experience traveling while mixed than someone who is not racially ambiguous. I KNOW. And it’s a fact that racially ambiguous people need to be cognizant of and factor into their discussions. But if I point out a salon that knows how to do Black hair, I’d like to think I know what I’m talking about.

Social media gives traveling while mixed…a whole different reason to be cautious of who I let into my inner circle. I’ve had a few instances where, during an Instagram Q&A, one of my friends (someone very vocal about racial issues, mind you) asked me “why I felt the need to dye my hair blonde.” Maybe I was reading too much into it, but…it felt…off.

Because…I want to?? That doesn’t make me…less “ethnic”?? I’m not trying to “pass” as white, I just wanna change up my hair color yo.

girl with straight blonde hair sitting on the edge of a crater

Once, I shared a list of “Black Travel Bloggers to Follow” and someone I considered a friend scoffed that I was included. Like??? And then they proceeded to do their own Black Travelers shoutout (overlapping many of the same people since we had similar blogger friend groups) – and they didn’t include me .

Another time, I was added to a group chat with other travel bloggers and the group organizer asked, “we’re all mixed in here, right?” And proceeded to ask everyone individually. I looked at everyone’s profile pictures and realized everyone was racially ambiguous. I got icky vibes so I left. Whatever conversations went down in that room after I immediately exited, I didn’t want to know.

Being a Mixed Travel Creator Be Like…

racially ambiguous girls sitting on the stoop of a New York apartment

I get that I’m not like, popular on social media or anything, but even people I PERSONALLY KNOW (and who know my racial identity) leave me and my blog out of conversations, opportunities, and simple shout outs. Like dang, I know I’m over here traveling while mixed and all, but I can contribute to Black travel discussions as well yanno?

Of course, I appreciate the friends that plug me without even a second thought, but the ones who don’t…man, y’all makin a girl feel excluded over here and it aint fun. It isn’t because I’m mixed either, because OTHER MIXED PEOPLE GET TAGGED. They are traveling while mixed too.

But perhaps they appear somewhat less “racially ambiguous” on whatever arbitrary paper bag scale being used.

Sometimes, I’m just not “the right amount of mixed.”

two racially ambiguous women looking disappointed and comforting each other

Other people think I’m not…whatever-race, because they claim I don’t always talk about it?

Well then, what…do they think I am? And do I really have to talk about racial issues every single post or blog piece for someone to see my color? Is that all content creators of color are good for? Diversity pieces and info?

Even when I’ve written travel articles for publications (about race) and I STATE my race very clearly in the article, in regards to MY pictures, (white) people literally say “why didn’t they use a picture of a Black girl/why can’t they use diverse models????”

Um…hello?

Hashtag Traveling While Mixed Problems.

Some of it comes from people Blackfishing or intentionally trying to look racially ambiguous on social media too, but that’s…another rabbit hole.

gif of a white woman with curly hair saying "I definitely am not white."

You…really can’t please everyone, even “woke” allies. So imma just keep traveling while mixed and try not to take it too personally.

Traveling While Mixed: Conclusion

Welp, I hope I haven’t exhausted you TOO much from all of that reading. And I hope you have just the tiniest bit more understanding of what it’s like traveling while mixed or racially ambiguous. I’m not asking for anything other than your understanding.

And for people to stop racially fetishizing others.

On this blog, I try to share perspectives other than my own, and am eternally grateful for my friends that share what it’s like to be an Asian travel blogger or a Latino travel blogger. But even then, for people who are racially ambiguous, there’s another layer to those travel experiences, so I’m glad I finally sat down to write about traveling while mixed.

racially ambiguous traveler posing in front of historical site

AND OF COURSE THANK YOU FOR READING. And listen to me ramble on about traveling while mixed and/or racially ambiguous.

What are your thoughts on traveling while mixed? Have any of these cross your mind before? Did any of these aspects of traveling while mixed surprise you? Or have you experienced them yourself traveling while mixed or racially ambiguous? Let me know in the comments below!

Pin this Post for Traveling While Mixed!

image: young woman with long curly hair smiling on a rainbow road. image text: 10 things you didn't know about traveling while mixed and racially ambiguous

Sharing is caring!

Similar Posts

32 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is really eye-opening. I honestly just do not know what to say, except thank you for sharing.

    1. Thank you so much for reading!

  2. YAAAAASSSS! I was nodding my head along the whole time!

  3. This was so damn thorough! I love it. Also this line killed me: “Don’t worry, I’m not going to sit up here and tell you about how I’m tragically TORN BETWEEN TWO WORLDS AND PEOPLE WANT ME TO PICK A SIDE *distressed emoji*” lmaooooo love this Kay!

    1. bahahaha thank you for reading it!! And that’s such a HUGE compliment coming from you, THANK YOU!!

  4. Thank you so much for sharing this post. It’s definitely opened my eyes to some perspectives I certainly wasn’t aware of and will be much more mindful of from now on! I’m glad to hear that you’ve had some great experiences because of it though – like the decolonized history of Greenland?! I’d LOVE to hear that myself one day.

    I’ve been following you for quite some time now and always love your honesty and vibe. You keep it real and I’m 100% here for it!!

    1. wahhh, thank you, that really means a lot. I appreciate you taking the time to read it!

    1. Thank you so much for reading!

  5. Thank you for writing this post. It’s so important to share and saddening that posts like this are still needed. I can relate to a lot that you’ve written about.

    1. True that. Thank you for reading!

  6. This was a fascinating read. I’m a painfully white person (like, there’s no confusing my ancestry lol) always looking to educate myself on the topic of race so I can be a better and more supportive friend/ally/etc., and this is great information for me/those like me so we can be a better traveler as well. Thank you for sharing your experience, and sorry you have to even write this blog at all. But thank youl.

    1. ahh thank you so much for reading, Amanda – I really appreciate it <3

  7. This is a very interesting post and touches on issues that I haven’t previously considered. No doubt when any woman travels we are often subjected to catcalls and remarks. But I never considered how those remarks would be different in someone of mixed race or racial ambiguity. Thanks for sharing your insights.

    1. Wouldn’t it be nice if the catcalling would just stop all together???

  8. Girl, thank you!! I have been thinking of writing something similar but couldn’t formulate the words to explain it. I am not mixed, so I know I can’t fully relate to the experience you’ve had. But I guess I look mixed to some folks and they’ll say things like you don’t look very asian you’re pretty. Like being Asian is ugly? And beyond that there’s always the confusion when I tell them I’m American and they are like oh “Japan”. Like what.. and sometimes they even go as far to say I don’t look American. On bad days I snap, I admit. But overall, it comes from a place of true innocence. It’s not their fault all the American media and movies show 99% white faces, so they assume this is the face of America. But yeah this is a mild annoyance I think a lot of non-white (or mixed) travelers face especially if they are from a western country and always have to explain themselves

    1. YESSSSSS!!!!! You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about!!! Especially the weird “you’re pretty, so you can’t be ___” WHAT ?!?? It’s all just so frustrating, isn’t it? Thank you so much for reading, and I would love to read yours if you ever write one!

  9. Phew Kay, thank you for this article and the terminology article too. It went deep and was needed!! So cos I have mixed cousins and my bro is surprisingly light for the parents we have (genetics – recessive throwback gene) & I grew up in the whitest of areas I never really considered the concept of mixed or colourism; when you are the only one its not in my psyche I suppose. Rightly or wrongly I just was like ‘cool they are black like me, just another shade.’ Its only til I went to uni that I realised the world didn’t see it that way and I’m still a lil uncomfortable with why that is, especially since the things you experience are the same. Yea I know that being mixed and/or racially ambigous have added differences and at times is advantageous but it wasn’t like so wildly better to me that you know that I’m now not gonna see your experiences as not part of my own black community experience. I also realise I don’t ask peeps where they are from not consciously but it just naturally comes up in our discourse if we are to be friends cos its part of who they are. I remember my Mum asking me about a black girl I was volunteering with one time and my Mum was like ‘where is she from?’ And I was clueless like I knew she wasn’t Nigerian, I knew she was like Black British and thats kinda all I’d garnered cos we weren’t friends. My Mum thought it weird I had no clue but hadn’t really thought to ask and it had not come up so I just was like huh interesting. Anyway I’m rambling, this is such a great piece, certainly got me thinking. Also maybe I shouldn’t assume everyone has no qualms being termed black when they are mixed…I should adopt whatever the person wants rather than assume.

    1. Wahhhh!! Thank you so much for reading and sharing Tayo!! I feel like a large majority of my childhood was similar, where I grew up with only my Black family so I was Black, just another shade. And then I went to uni and people started asking what my ethnicity was and I truly didn’t understand how they couldn’t tell I was Black?? Like, technically I’m mixed or whatev, but that isn’t my go-to answer when someone asked me what I am…but I imagine people who grew up with both sides of their family or maybe with a side of the family that they didn’t “blend into” may be more comfortable with identifying first as mixed or bi/multiracial.

  10. Thank you for sharing these stories and experiences. It’s really eye-opening and helps people who don’t have to consider all of these issues while traveling become more aware. I hope we get to a time when posts like this aren’t even necessary.

    1. Thank YOU for reading <3

  11. Absolutely love your perspective ❤️.

  12. Honestly asking because I don’t know: Is it ok to ask people their ethnicity? As a white woman who grew up in a very diverse neighborhood/circumstances – people’s color never really occurred to me – except that some of my friends and I wore different color makeup growing up? I always thought their skin was pretty regardless of whether it was white or not – Hence the reason I tanned so much and still do lol But I guess I’ve never wondered if that was a weird question. You talk a lot about being mixed and the ‘intrigue’ behind it – just didn’t know if you were offended by people asking? We travel a ton and I don’t want to offend if it’s a sensitive subject.

    1. Mmm…well I can’t answer for everyone, but I guess my question to you would be WHY are you asking. Would knowing/not knowing make any difference (speaking in terms of casual meeting new people situations)? Likewise, do you as white people what their ethnicity is? Or Black people with darker skin tones?

      Sometimes, it’s not even necessarily the question itself, but just that it can be overwhelming in frequency. Like…image in everyone in the world wore short sleeves, and you wore long sleeves. For the most part, you didn’t think much about the fact that you wore long sleeves, but then randomly people would come up to you and ask to see your wrists. Because they can see everyone else’s wrists, so they’re curious about yours. You might not mind telling them what your wrists look like, but even if you don’t, having to constantly explain to people can get to be…a lot. Especially when there’s people who don’t believe you or tell you what your wrists SHOULD look like. Or people might have preconceived biases against you because of what your wrists might look like. So that might make someone hesitant or weary to explain what their wrists look like, or at the very least tired of explaining. So, if you’re wearing short sleeves, do you REALLY have to ask what someone’s wrists look like – even if you’re just honestly curious. That’s an oversimplified example, but hopefully it helps explain what traveling while mixed can feel like, and sorta kinda answer your question.

  13. This is such a powerful post. Thank you for sharing. With COVID and not travelling I think I forget about some of these issues, but they’re so important. Thank you for sharing and inspiring other racially ambiguous individuals to travel freely and confidently <3

    1. Aww thank you so much for reading!

  14. Francesca says:

    I love this post! You bring up so many good points. It is such an interesting concept to see where you blend in. In Morocco, my husband kept getting mistaken for a Moroccan… which he is not.

    1. It’s….very surprising and unexpected when it happens hahah. Thank you so much for reading!!

  15. Wow! I relate to this so much as a mixed, third culture kid with a complex identity. I’m lucky i’ve never experienced any sort of racism traveling but always seem to blend in in most countries around the world and get that local treatment (which can be frustrating at times language wise but mostly wonderful!) It’s difficult to find other travelers who can relate so thanks so much for this post and for sharing your experiences!

    1. Oh yayy! First, thank you so much for reading and I’m glad you could relate!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.